Eat, Pray, Surf

Boston's Freedom Trail

I recently attended my 25th Harvard Business School reunion in Boston.

Reunions are funny.

We arrive carrying our highlight reels.

- Promotions.

- Successful businesses.

- Impressive titles.

- Net worth.

It's easy to fall into the trap of keeping up with the Joneses.

The problem is that keeping up often requires something else:

- A facade.

- Looking successful.

- Sounding successful.

Acting like you have everything figured out.

Ten years ago, at my 15th reunion, I did something different.

I told anyone who would listen:

"I'm lost. I don't know what I want to do next."

At the time, it felt embarrassing.

Today, I realize it was one of the most important things I've ever done.

Carl Jung called this process individuation—becoming a whole person by integrating the parts of yourself you've ignored.

He believed this often happens in midlife.

In our twenties and thirties, we build our resume.

In midlife, we start building ourselves.

A few days after the reunion, I found myself in Portugal at a surf camp with my daughter Caroline.

One lesson from surfing stuck with me:

Keep your head up and look toward the horizon.

If you stare down at your feet, you'll fall.

For years, I thought success was about achievement.

But achievement and meaning solve two different problems.

When we're young, achievement answers:

- "Am I enough?"

- Can I get the job?

- Make the money?

- Earn the respect?

It's like you forgot to look at the horizon, and you are still looking down at your feet.

But eventually a different question emerges:

"Who am I beyond what I accomplish?" 

Today, success feels much simpler.

Having control over my schedule.

Choosing work that energizes me.

Adding value to other people's lives.

Knowing who I am when nobody is watching.

Twenty-five years ago, I wanted to prove myself in order to get paid.

Ten years ago, I admitted I was lost.

Today, I realize being lost wasn't a failure.

It was an invitation.

As I ran Boston's Freedom Trail and read Arthur Brooks' The Meaning of Your Life, I kept coming back to the same thought:

The first half of life is about building a life.

The second half is about understanding the person who built it.

We are all on different rides.

Try to spend some time thinking about which wave you are on?

Tiffany Kent

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