“If I can make it there…”
“If I can make it there…”
Favorite line from the song, New York, New York by Frank Sinatra
Returning to New York to speak at a conference a few days ago terrified me.
I had once “made it” in New York
—or at least I thought I had.
And when I left, I worried that I might never make it anywhere else.
My talk was about Steve Jobs’ famous idea -
We cannot connect the dots looking forward;
we can only connect them looking backward.
Afterward, several men came up to tell me how much they enjoyed it
—and how deeply they connected with my story.
That made me wonder:
Why do I keep pushing myself to speak?
The respectable answer is that I want to help people.
And I do.
I want people to discover what makes them different
—the experiences, abilities and even wounds that might be their personal alpha.
I believe we discover ourselves through:
- our work,
- our successes and,
- mostly, our mistakes.
I made a few of those during my talk.
I had to look down at my notes because I was determined to hit every point.
But of course I missed a ton.
But there is also a less respectable
—and more uncomfortable
—answer in why I keep seeking opportunities to speak:
Part of me wants to be a little famous.
That desire comes from growing up feeling I never had my mother’s attention.
She was distracted:
with divorce, custody battles, and
hating my father.
I was neglected in ways I did not fully understand at the time.
So I learned to climb the external ladder of success: investment banking, Goldman Sachs, Harvard Business School, Wall Street.
In New York, I even felt a little famous.
Or perhaps it was my maiden name—Tiffany Darling—which helped me stand out.
Either way, I had become interesting and knowledgeable enough back then to be seen.
Decades later, there I was, standing in front of a room filled with successful people,
still trying to solve an old problem—only now I had a microphone.
But maybe that is not entirely a bad thing.
Maybe wanting to be seen is what keeps pushing me beyond my comfort zone.
It makes me practice, develop my ideas and turn my experiences into a message that might help someone else.
Something negative—being neglected—became a source of motivation.
Another "dot" I could only recognize looking backward.
It is okay to make it in New York.
It is okay to leave New York.
And it is okay to return years later, step back inside the circle and tell the stories of what you discovered about the world
—and about yourself
—while you were away.
and find your king of the hill,
top of the heap in your own little, authentic way.
What special talent are you ignoring?
Tiffany Kent
Your Friendly Wealth Engagement Guide
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