What My Mom’s Divorce Taught Me

photo from last summer

The Second Mountain

Turning Transitions into Wealth-Building Moments

Career transition. Divorce. Midlife change. Whatever you call it—it can feel like free fall. But it can also be your greatest financial opportunity.

When I was a child, I watched my single mom slowly slip into depression. She gained weight, lost her energy, and eventually ran out of money.

As a kid, I didn’t fully understand what was happening. But I knew something wasn’t right.

She blamed others for how her life turned out. It was always someone else’s fault. I now understand that blame may have helped her cope—but it never helped her heal.

Years later, as an adult, when I found myself in my own transition—not through divorce, but through the unraveling of my Wall Street career—my greatest fear wasn’t failure.

It was becoming her. Alone. Broke. Powerless.

It was 10 years ago, and I was deep in a valley. The world around me was getting richer, more dynamic. I felt stuck. But I knew I had a choice.

I didn’t know David Brooks’ book The Second Mountain back then, but I’m reading it now—and it’s as if he put words to my journey.

Brooks writes about a time in his life after divorce and after his kids had left home. He calls it a valley—a place of loneliness, spiritual emptiness, and moral numbness. He admits to using work as an escape, and to feeling disconnected from meaning. That valley led him to search for something deeper: purpose, commitment, and the climb toward his second mountain.

While my journey was different, I found similar tools that helped me move through the valley:

🔹 I started writing.

90% of my thoughts were repetitive and self-critical. Free writing helped me break the cycle. I unpacked memories—like the day I came home from school and saw a final notice on the door. She forgot to pay the bills that month, and if I didn't help her write out the checks, our landline would get cut off!! … and so I helped my mom balance her checkbook. That memory reminded me that I’ve always loved solving problems with math. It gave me a thread to follow.

🔹 I sought wisdom.

I invited women 10–15 years older to coffee. I asked about their transitions. Their divorces, their partners, their pivots, their valleys. How did they find their way through? Their stories gave me perspective—and courage.

🔹 I started to read a lot.

Eventually, the Amazon algorithm served me Ryan Holiday’s The Obstacle Is the Way. He writes:

“The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” That line hit me. I was lonely in a male-dominated finance world. I felt like I didn’t belong. So instead of running from it… I faced it.

What if I could become the advisor I wished existed for women like me? That question changed everything.

That valley gave me purpose. It gave me my second mountain. 

This is how I went from the Valley to Clarity and turned my transition into a Wealth-Building Opportunity

If you’re in transition—whether through divorce, reinvention, or the quiet identity crisis that midlife can bring—know this:

💡 There is a way through. 💡 What’s in the way is the way.

💡 You can turn your valley into a wealth-building season.

Let’s talk about what your second mountain could look like.

Thanks for reading!

Tiffany Kent

Your Friendly Wealth Engagement Guide

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