Finally, a break.
I met a rich guy who was looking to make an advisor switch.
He told me his wife makes all the decisions.
Perfect! I’m thinking to myself, she will love me.
This is why I do what I do!
At the meeting, the husband and my work colleague, an expert in trust and estates, hit it off.
I’m thinking, I’m finally going to bag the elephant. - Wall Street movie reference.
Then the wife joins the meeting midway.
Something happened that I didn't expect.
She shot me down, after each suggestion I made.
I was used to guys shooting me down, which I could logically counter, but this was something different.
Feeling like the wife and I had an odd first meeting, I followed up with the wife asking if she would like to go to lunch.
Immediately, she said no, and they were fine with their current advisor.
What was I missing? The husband loved my partner’s expertise.
I went into this business to serve her, be an advocate, decode Wall Street jargon, and teach women more about investing.
Feeling defeated, the next day, I tell a new friend who works in finance, the story.
He figured it out immediately, he explains,
“She didn’t want you anywhere near her rich husband.”
My career came crashing down on me. I hated being a woman in finance.
I’ve worked this hard, and for what?
Based on my friend's advice, I decided I'll leave the firm 6 months later.
It was MY dream to serve women better, but my dream wasn’t her dream.
Jason Feifer, editor-in-chief at Entrepreneur Mag,
confirms this in his blog “Nobody Cares About Your Dreams” https://lnkd.in/eWwbSkmU
"When you are climbing the ladder and building your resume, we all love to get these titles, because we love the status and power associated with the achievement, but guess what?"
No one cares. No one cares that I was a portfolio manager at a hedge fund. Or I went to HBS, Or that I'm a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER.
People only care about what you can do for them.
In hindsight, the wife was right to reject me.
While my old firm was an excellent fit for the couple, it wasn't her dream to have a female advisor.
To put myself in her shoes, she might have viewed me as a threat.
Three years later. I’m so grateful the wife rejected me. If I had won the business, I would have stayed at the old firm and never pursued my dream of starting my own firm one day.
Today I get to focus on what I can control — and that is making an impact on the people who do support us. Today I love working with my clients who value my advice and the close friendships we have developed.
I'm so grateful for learning life's lessons and for helping me become a better advisor.
This holiday season I'm going to reread Mindset, the new psychology of success by Carol Dweck, PhD. One of my favorite books!
Your Friendly Wealth Engagement Guide,
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